Love is an invaluable gift. This is the only thing that we can give and yet you still have it.

Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Each of us has the greatest gift for life that makes it especially valuable. This gift is laid in us in the form of a seed, which, with the right approach to it, germinates in our heart, blossoms and at a certain moment blooms, turning our life into a fairy tale. This great gift is love. This is a very strong feeling, perhaps the strongest of all. Many different experiences are associated with this feeling in different people, both good and bad. Someone experienced great happiness when he loved and was loved, and someone suffered because of this feeling, it filled someone with strength and helped to get up, and someone caused severe pain, depriving him of all joy. Love can make a fairy tale out of our life, or it can turn it into hell. In this sense, it is multifaceted and therefore we will consider it from different sides,

Writing about love is hard. For a long time I did not dare to do this, because I wanted not only to learn more about her, but also to feel all her facets to the fullest. For it is difficult to talk about those things that he did not feel on his own skin. Here, as with hunger, it is difficult to understand a starving person when his stomach is full. You must first experience something, hang on the cross for a while, and only then talk about joys and sufferings. And then, it is always difficult to describe such a strong feeling. After all, for this you need to translate feelings into thoughts and express them with the help of correctly selected and properly grouped words. This is not an easy task. However, you need to try to do this, not only to me in my articles, but also to every person who wants to understand something. Any feeling is also thoughts, only those that we are not able to realize, therefore, they are expressed through the sensory sphere, influencing our state, but not showing exactly how. And when we are aware of these thoughts, our feelings cease to control us, we begin to control them. And this is one of the conditions for a happy life. After all, only mind-controlled feelings can be reliable and stable enough that we can enjoy them all our lives.

What is love

Understanding love is not easy. Therefore, it is not easy to explain what it is. And not because it is difficult to do that in itself it is a very complex and incomprehensible feeling, but because people can experience and understand it in different ways, depending on their current level of development. Today a person understands and feels love in one way, and tomorrow he can understand and feel it differently, if he has not stopped in his development, has not stuck in the same youth. But even if a person does not develop himself, life will still develop him, sending him all sorts of difficulties, trials and even suffering, which will serve as lessons for him leading to a deeper understanding of life. And that means to understanding more serious love. Love grows in a person with him. Let’s see what it can be for different people.

Selfish love

This is the most common form of love. When selfish people say that they love someone, it means that they want to get something for themselves, they want something from the person they love. We can talk about passion, or they can be attracted by some material values ​​that the person they love has, in this case we can even say about mercantile love, when one person just wants to use the other, but does not speak about it directly, but uses love, as an explanation for their desire. Or we can talk about simple attention and about being at least with someone, just to be, it’s still scary and painful to be alone. In any of these and many other cases, we are talking about the desire to get something for yourself. It is this desire, this desire to receive, to take something, that makes love selfish. A person does not think about to give, or if he thinks, then only as a deal, when he gives one thing and takes another in return, and it will be called love by him. For example, a woman can sell herself in this way to a rich man, making a deal: the body in exchange for money. This is Love? Yes, I can tell you, this is love, but not of a person to a person, but of a person to himself.

Selfishness is an infantile feeling that testifies to the immaturity of a person. Egoists cannot truly love someone, because they love themselves, seeing in such love for themselves only a desire to take something from people, not thinking about what they need, these people. Egoists are focused on themselves, on their problems, desires, dreams, on their pain and suffering, on their pleasure. If you listen to them, they always try to talk only about themselves. To others, they may be inattentive, indifferent, cold, they are not ready to give anything to anyone. Is it possible to talk about love when a person is not ready to give, but only wants to take? Think about it. And I’ll tell you my opinion below.

Selfish love should be avoided unless you yourself are selfish. Even if some egoist falls in love with you, believe me, it won’t be long. The childish nature of such a person makes his behavior unstable and unreliable, today he loves you, and tomorrow he will fall in love with someone else who is more interesting and profitable than you in something. An egoist will step over your feelings, without even thinking about them, he will not care about your pain and suffering, he will trample your heart and spit into your soul. And God forbid you to fall in love with an egoist yourself. If you do this, you cannot avoid suffering. Even if you will be together with an egoist for a while, he will use your love for himself, he will use you until he leaves you. He does not care about your love, he thinks only about his love. This, by the way, can be considered the curse of egoists, because they constantly drive away from themselves those who need it and run after those who do not need it at all. And this is not the happiest life, as you know.

Egoists very interestingly confess their love to people, when they do it, they focus on themselves. For example, an egoist can say to a person whom he loves from his words: “I need you!” Sounds nice? Strongly? But let’s think about what the key word in this phrase allows you to understand what kind of person is pronouncing it, loving someone or loving himself. This is the word “me”, right? A person talks about himself, about what he needs, what he wants, and this indicates his selfishness. He does not ask the one whom he supposedly loves, what he wants, what he needs and how he can give it to him, how he can make the one he loves happy. No, he thinks about himself. Other people are a source of pleasure for him, nothing more. Of course, after reading these lines, the egoist can then try to confuse the person to whom he speaks about his love by asking him about him, and not stating your desire. But his interest in another will be fake, false, unnatural, and any reasonable person will see this fake or feel it. Therefore, until the egoist matures, until his mind becomes more mature, his love will be false. Selfish love is parasitic love that sucks out all the juices from a healthy body.

Passionate love

Can passion be considered love? Probably, to some extent it is possible, in the most insignificant extent. But you must admit that something somehow does not pull it [passion] into the role of such a great and strong feeling for which people may be ready to give their lives, or which, on the contrary, gives this life and strength to deal with any difficulties. Passion is the most primitive form of love, also infantile, youthful, like selfish love. More precisely, passionate love is a kind of selfish love. It is caused by the sexual instinct, when one individual is physically attracted to another. And if such an attraction can be considered love, then it will last exactly as long as this attraction exists. As soon as the attraction stops, love will go along with it.

Imagine a guy who saw a beautiful, or rather a sexy girl and, in his words, fell head over heels in love with her. He can fall in love with her so much with his passionate love that he will desperately seek this girl, he will suffer if she does not reciprocate, he may even think of suicide if he cannot get her. This guy is absolutely sure that his feelings are real, that he is experiencing love, strong, pure, light, the way it should be. But let’s say the girl will reciprocate him, get closer to him, as he wants, and then, after a while, inform him that she is pregnant and that now he needs to take on some responsibility for her and their unborn child. You know of cases when, after such news, these guys in love just ran away, leaving a girl with her pregnancy at her most difficult time, when she needs help and support the most? I am aware of such cases, there are many of them. First, one person needs another, no matter what he says, and what is especially important, he himself believes that he loves him. And at the first difficulty, he leaves him. So, tell me, is it really love when people act like this, first burn with their desire to get someone, and then leave him at the most inopportune, the most difficult time? Or is it passion, a pale shadow of love, the purpose of which is to satisfy your base needs at the expense of others? I believe that the second, because such a selfish attraction, which appeared as a result of the seething of hormones, is far from such a great feeling that we are discussing. Passionate love is animal love

Love is a disease

Love can be a disease when a person himself does not understand why he loves someone, even if that someone treats him badly. Such love cannot be enjoyed, it will bring more suffering than pleasure and joy, so it needs to be treated. People are sick with love for various reasons. For example, due to a lack of parental love, attention and warmth, a person may grow up too amorous and will fall in love with everyone who will give him all these missing sensations, who will simply behave well with him, will pay a lot of attention to him. The scarcity of the essentials is what makes people sick with love. Sometimes such an unloved person can fall in love with anyone who at least shows an interest in him. And this will make him dependent on such a painful love, which is based not on the value of human qualities, but on fear and emptiness, which force a morally weak person to fall in love with someone. Well, think for yourself what kind of love it is when you are afraid of something. At first you are afraid of not getting attention to yourself, then you are afraid of losing this attention and in general you are afraid of loneliness. Obviously, this is unhealthy love.

Attachment, habit, are also to some extent a disease, although in some cases these are useful properties of the human psyche. You can get attached to a very bad person, who, although he was not always like that, but at first seemed very good, downright ideal to please, and only then showed his true insides, but if he eventually became like that, you need to have strength to refuse it. After all, if you become attached to such a person, seeing love in this, then you can subject yourself to great suffering, because he can begin to enjoy such attachment and devotion to himself if he has no conscience. How many will resist the temptation to take advantage of other people’s feelings for themselves, when a person is ready for a lot to be with you? As for the habit, you can also get used to the very bad, living with someone. For example, a woman can get used to her alcoholic husband or even to beatings, believing that she loves her man very much, so she is ready to forgive him. It’s not okay, right, to love someone who hurts you? That is why in such cases we are talking about illness, and not about love or love-illness. Which definitely needs to be treated.

Invented love

Sometimes people can invent love for themselves in order to make their life more interesting, add new experiences to it, experience new sensations in order to taste the joy of their feelings and experience suffering from pain and resentment. I want to experience all this, the whole gamut of feelings. Usually people do this out of boredom, which is often caused by an abundance of free time and idleness, and this, in turn, is a good or very good life, in which there are no worries or hassles. Imagine a person who has nothing to do and does not know what to do with his free time. He does not want to work or cannot, or there is no need for this, because someone supports him. He is also reluctant to study, because it is lazy and uninteresting, why strain your brains when nothing forces you to do it. And what is left for him? Look for new emotions, some joys, entertainment, to make your life more interesting. For this, he can invent love for himself. A person is chosen who is considered as an object of love, but in fact, as a toy that you can fall in love with. Women especially love to do this, because they especially need feelings, and they are as beautiful as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will begin to invent love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love. after all, they especially need feelings, and such beautiful ones, as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will begin to invent love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love. after all, they especially need feelings, and such beautiful ones, as in novels, where love is often presented in an unnatural form. If a woman is bored, most likely she will begin to invent love for herself, less often something else. However, shopping can compete with this idea. Some women prefer it to his love.

Such love is just an opportunity to beautify life, to make it more interesting. She is short-lived, incomplete and sometimes even insane. Some people leave their families for the love they make up. They become obsessed with their love, associating it not so much with the one with whom they decided to fall in love, as with their dreams and desires. The expectations of a person who has fallen in love in this way are often not justified, because his dreams are far from reality, in many moments they are inadequate, too high. A person is waiting for such love and such a life that are impossible. Therefore, relationships built on invented love are very shaky and short-lived. When the obsession leaves the person in love, everything that was associated with his invented love loses its power. Fairy tales tend to crash against reality. After all, if a loved one, love for whom was invented, will cause some problems, difficulties, if he does not justify those illusory expectations that were assigned to him, then love for him will quickly pass, because it was invented not in order to deal with some difficulties, but for joy and entertainment, and sometimes to escape from reality. So the illusion of love can quickly collapse and a person will find himself in the ruins of not only the love he invented, but also on the fragments of the life that he destroyed because of it. This true love deals with everything, both good and bad, and not only with the good, it helps to accept the world as it is. But invented love is a meaningless fairy tale that a person drew in his head, for the sake of obtaining simple and unnatural pleasure, but which is not able to lead him to true happiness. In this world, one must be able to live in that reality, which exists, and not in its own illusions. People want a completely carefree life, consisting only of pleasures, with which they associate their ideas of love. But it’s impossible to live like that.

Real love

Well, it’s time to talk about the main thing, about true love. I will clarify right away that this is my understanding of true love, my vision of it. You can agree or disagree with this, you can supplement my opinion with your own, I just ask you to think about my words in order to try to understand what I, a person as a whole, is not young, who has seen and experienced a lot, I understand.

So, about true love, we can say this: love is a feeling in which a person appreciates the one he loves no less than himself, and if love is strong, then much more than himself. We care about those we love, we are ready for the sake of such people for what sometimes, even for our own sake, we are not ready. Love is the ability to give, to sacrifice. That is why love is life, that is why it gives life and supports it, that is why it makes us stronger, so that we live and achieve success, so that we develop and become better, so that there is more happiness and less suffering in our life. This, I believe, is its meaning. Love is needed in order to have life, and not anyhow, but happy, when a person feels good and wants to live. True love leads a person to harmony with the surrounding world and people, and especially with that person, whom he loves and who, despite all the shortcomings, seems to him ideal. Love allows people who love each other to see perfection in each other.

In addition to this, it can be said that true love is mature love. A person must grow up to it. Growing up to her, he outgrows his egoism, his superficial perception of life, his primitive values ​​and associated frivolous desires. Mature love requires a person to be able to think about others, empathize with them, understand their feelings and respect them. Being selfish and immature, this will not work, because such people are focused only on themselves. In the meantime, while you are focused on yourself, while in others you see only what is outside and do not know how to appreciate the inner world of people, and as long as your values ​​are based only on your basic needs, you will not be able to see really valuable things, you will not be able to do something important to sacrifice for the sake of another person, you will not be able to enjoy the fact that that you will do something good to someone else, not just yourself. You will not be able to enjoy someone else’s happiness, you will not be able to rejoice in someone else’s laughter, you will not feel satisfaction from the fact that you give the best piece to the one you love, from the fact that by removing the last from yourself, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. You see, with what joys true mature love is connected. Anyone can experience this kind of love, but one needs to mature for it. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. Such love for a person will not come by itself. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience pleasure from high feelings. from the fact that by removing the last from yourself, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. You see, with what joys true mature love is connected. Anyone can experience this kind of love, but one needs to mature for it. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. Such love for a person will not come by itself. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience pleasure from high feelings. from the fact that by removing the last from yourself, you will warm your beloved, beloved, and therefore your love. You see, with what joys true mature love is connected. Anyone can experience this kind of love, but one needs to mature for it. And for this you need to strive for it, you need to develop in order to expand the boundaries of your understanding of life. Such love for a person will not come by itself. You will not grow above yourself, you will not experience pleasure from high feelings.

Truly, in an adult way, love is not easy. Just imagine what it means to put someone above yourself. What a deep understanding of life should a loving person have in this case, which is expressed in his feelings. When a person loves, truly, with mature love, he cares and protects the object of love, and does not try to use it. He has a desire to make a loved one stronger, more adapted to life, so that he develops, achieves success in different areas, and enjoys life. And for this, sometimes pain and suffering are necessary, for not all people are so intelligent as to voluntarily do something useful for themselves and their lives, in order to develop and grow above themselves. For this they may need an incentive, which is suffering and pain. And you need to have the strength to inflict such useful, motivating pain on the one who do you love. This is also a certain sacrifice for the sake of love for a person, because it is so difficult to see the suffering of the one you love, the heart bleeds from this, but if this suffering is necessary, it must be organized or allowed. These are the things true love can demand, not that which has a beautiful wrapper, but that which has valuable content.

freedom

Freedom is another important prerequisite for full love. Without freedom, love cannot be healthy and complete; outside the will, it is distorted, becomes incomplete and often dies. Freedom is not permissiveness, it is the ability to choose decisions when a person takes full responsibility for everything he does. Not all people are ready for this choice, but they need to be led to it. A person should manage his life himself, but manage competently, according to the mind, and not on emotions. Here, as with children, for some time we ourselves make decisions for them, because they are not able to make a competent choice, taking into account all its consequences. But we teach them, we educate them so that when they grow up they can decide for themselves how to act in different situations. Only by loving a person, you can lead him to such a choice, to such freedom. And love is also easier and more pleasant,

Love game

Very often, according to my observations, people do not really love each other when you value your loved one higher than yourself and are ready to sacrifice a lot for him. More often they play love, performing, as I call it, various rituals. Well, you know, flowers, serenades, beautiful gifts, dates with kisses and other romantic things that are considered to be an expression of love. All these culturally imposed traditions have nothing to do with true love. Investing in all this beauty, people are often not ready to sacrifice even a little for the sake of the one they love, when necessary. They begin to think about themselves loved ones when they have a choice, either for themselves and for themselves, or for the one you love. So beauty in relationships can be deceiving.

For example, in cases with children, fake love, and playful, frivolous, is manifested in the fact that parents pamper their children, thereby indulging their Ego and often presenting their child with the best show in order to get a portion of praise or envy from their friends, acquaintances and thus feel superior to others. This is a primitive way to emphasize your value and importance, and children are only a means to this end. This is how people play in love with their children. True love for a child requires a willingness to do whatever it takes to become stronger, to adapt to life and to take care of himself. Pampering does not contribute to this in any way. And sometimes, as I said above, you have to be reasonably cruel to your beloved child through pain in your heart, leading him through feasible, but difficult and necessary tests.

To play love is to imitate it, not to feel and take it seriously. People are deceiving each other, deceiving themselves when they play such a game. You can disguise a lot under it, and sexual attraction, and commercialism, and the desire to stand out. People, of course, get something from such ostentatious love, but this does not come close to what real, honest, open love can give, to which it is difficult to come, but at the same time it is very valuable.

Mutual love

Reciprocity is another important element of love. To be honest, I did not immediately understand its significance in this great feeling. And only thanks to the enormous experience of communicating with different people who loved and were loved, I saw how important it is for the emergence and development of love when it is mutual. For if there is no reciprocity, then, on the one hand, love will be suffering, because without full feedback, it is directed into emptiness and therefore it is cold and painful from it, and not pleasant and warm. On the other hand, the lack of reciprocity makes such love meaningless, makes it unnecessary for anyone, including those who love unrequitedly. Why love if you are not needed by the one you love, if you receive nothing in return? And in some cases, dishonest people may see self-love as an opportunity to use the person who loves them to their advantage. And many take advantage of this opportunity. It is immoral, cynical, sometimes cruel, but evil people do this, they simply exploit someone else’s love. Therefore, to love and not receive reciprocity means not to love yourself. Such self-sacrifice is not necessary for a person, it will not make his life happy, but will turn it into endless suffering.

Reciprocity is difficult to achieve, because of the same selfishness of people. There are two ways to do this. The first way is to try to earn the love of the one you love so that you will be loved too. And the second: to reciprocate yourself to the one who loves you. People usually choose the first way, that is, they try to get love from someone they like, because they want to. This is a more selfish approach to love. People do not want to change themselves, their preferences, in order to love the one who loves them, in order to reciprocate and find their happiness. Instead, they want to change the one they themselves love so that he, too, will love them. That is, people seek to change the other, not themselves. But we don’t like to change, so rarely does anyone choose the second way to come to mutual love. People suffer, suffer when they do not receive reciprocity, loving someone, but do not change themselves, many do not even think about it. This is work, and the most difficult and who wants to do it. So even such a seemingly simple step to happiness, when you just need to pay attention to the one who loves you and fully appreciate his love, find in this person many different virtues and love him in return, in order to become happy, many people do can not. But they cannot because they believe that everything that is most valuable in this life must be conquered, obtained and achieved, and not just accepted. After all, you always want to have something better, which seems to be such because of the inaccessibility and remoteness, and at the same time, a great value can itself ask for a person in the hands, but he will not appreciate it. Until he changes his mind, until he understands that certain values ​​can themselves come into a person’s life and it is not at all necessary to make great efforts to acquire them, he will not be able to accept the gifts that life presents to him, in this case in the form of love. Of course, not all people deserve reciprocity, you never know who can fall in love with you or who will only think that they have fallen in love with you. You should not let anyone in your life either. But you need to at least think about it, admitting the idea that love itself can come to you and you only need to accept it, not seek it, not conquer, but simply accept. And then, after all, some people do not consider valuable at all what comes to them, they want something that is difficult or impossible to get, they believe in the correctness of such an attitude. And it would be better to break into the tightly closed door, hoping to open it someday, what if it happens, that is very, very rare. This is how we miss our happiness. Understand that valuable things can lie under your feet, and not necessarily hang at the very top, where it is difficult to get it.

Well, then, if you think extremely soberly and dryly, then we can say that many people fall in love with those who do not fully correspond. That is, they want to get a lot from the person they love, but they themselves have little to offer him. It turns out a kind of unequal exchange, a person offers soap, but in return he does not want an awl, but something more valuable. Well, who would agree to such a clearly unfavorable deal. We can talk about everything, starting with personal qualities and ending with any material values, status, achievements. People are not equally valuable, I must admit it. We always want the best, the best, or rather what we consider to be the best, and we don’t think much about how good we ourselves are, because our Ego always convinces us that we are very valuable and worthy of a lot. Only from the outside, everything may look different. It is difficult for a person to assess himself objectively, so he often tries to bite a nut that is too tough for him. This is expressed, among other things, in unrequited love, when a person loves someone whom, roughly speaking, is not worthy. It is unpleasant to realize, hard, painful, but you need to remember this when feelings awaken in you. These feelings can be false, because they do not allow a person to be appreciated, but only the opportunity to get something more. After all, we often love not what we need, but what we do not have, which is valuable because of its inaccessibility and limitations. But not everyone has life in store for princes and princesses, because not everyone needs them. Sometimes you need to have a simpler attitude to life, not be a perfectionist, maximalist, but enjoy the simple earthly available pleasures, including people. You can love everyone, each person is valuable and interesting in its own way, so you don’t have to raise the bar above the roof and look for someone extraordinarily special. To find happiness, many people only need to say one single word “yes”, to the one who loves them and learn to love someone else’s love, and not just his own.

On the other hand, unrequited love can be useful for development, because it motivates a person to improve himself, to improve himself. A person tries to develop his virtues and eradicate shortcomings in order to please the one he loves, for the sake of his reciprocal love for himself. Returning love does not always come, more often it is not possible to get it, no matter how hard you try. People are too selfish to value other people’s feelings above their own. But the lover himself becomes better, and the better we are, the more quality love we deserve.

The meaning of love

As I wrote above, love gives and sustains life. When we love, we are able to do things that we would never have dared to do without this strong feeling in our hearts. We are ready for self-sacrifice, for the sake of love, and therefore for the sake of life. For example, a real mother and a real father who love their child will never doubt the need to give their lives for him. And in many other cases, this is also possible. Only the one who truly loves can give his life for the sake of life, and not himself, but others, another. I think that’s what love is for, that’s why it was invented.

Fight for love

Is it worth fighting for your love? In my youth, I thought so. All my observations, reasoning, knowledge told me that you have to fight for everything good in this life, by itself nothing will come to you. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get it, and sometimes it’s to keep it. But as I got older, I began to understand that love does not always need to be fought for, sometimes it arises where there is a need for it. It just needs to be allowed to happen. Life itself will put everything in its place. You just need to understand that this does not always happen and our fate is in our hands. Therefore, the struggle is also necessary, you can never completely abandon it. Because, as we now know, love is not always reasonable, people do not always understand what they need, what is valuable to them, they often do not understand, what and why they feel about the other person. Love, or what an individual considers love, can blind him and prevent him from understanding the situation and his feelings. He can make a mistake that will hurt him later.

Here, for example, how much stupid love there is in adolescents who can fall in love with some pop stars, actors, athletes, their teachers, and so on, and then do all sorts of stupid things because of such love. For example, they don’t get to know someone for a long time, they don’t start a relationship, believing that someday they will fulfill their dream and will be with the person they supposedly love. There is nothing to say about suicidal thoughts, they are not just stupidity, but a disease. This is a sick love in itself, selfish, reckless and senseless, it is an ordinary whim, when people just want something, but they don’t really need it, and they don’t understand it. For someone to understand this, it is necessary to go through negative experiences in order to become wiser. And someone needs help from outside. That is why those who want to help them need to reason with them, help to understand the reasons for their feelings, to explain their nature. This is the struggle. Also, in order to preserve the family, it is sometimes necessary to reason with your partner, who, as he believes, has fallen in love with someone and wants to destroy everything for the sake of his dubious love, although in fact such an interest could arise for a number of reasons that are far from this feeling. You never know what difficulties may arise in people’s lives that will prompt them not to overcome these difficulties, but to flee from them. But an easy decision caused by a person’s weakness often turns out to be wrong. Therefore, fictional love will not last long, and what was destroyed because of it will be very difficult to restore, and in some cases impossible. That is why it is necessary to help a person understand himself in order to preserve the love that already exists, albeit in a somewhat extinct state. So there are always cases when you have to fight for your own and someone else’s love, you cannot rely on fate and chance in everything. Life helps us, but it does not have to and cannot do everything for us.

Struggle is an integral part of life. It is impossible to do without it in any area of ​​life. Love is no exception. And even if you do not need to fight always, but only when you understand the situation well, the reasons for the feelings that have arisen in you or feelings that have arisen in another person whom you want to help or with whom you want to be together, the main thing is to remember that on your part you need do everything in your power to help yourself and others, and then whatever happens. It is difficult to give any universal advice when it is necessary to fight for love, and when it is better to seek, accept or let go of it, too many different situations in life can arise that require different decisions. It is only necessary, I repeat, to admit the need to fight for love, as well as the need to accept its loss or the impossibility of receiving it.

If we talk about maintaining love, then in my experience, this should always be done by a more experienced, mature and intelligent person who needs to take responsibility for what is happening and for the behavior of a less mature and judicious person. Never shift responsibility for what is happening to those who are unable to take it. So nothing can be changed. You have to do everything yourself if you understand the situation better than others.

Love

And the last thing that we will discuss within the framework of this topic is falling in love. This feeling is the seed of either false or true love. True love, full-fledged, mature, as you now know, needs to be nurtured. It will not arise in one day. Or, as they sometimes say: at first sight. True love takes time and often a lot of effort, through which people learn to live with each other. But falling in love can be felt right away, it is also often called love at first sight. In my opinion, this is not a completely correct definition of such a feeling, but it does not matter. Falling in love arises due to the fact that much that one person sees in another, for one reason or another, he likes. You know, as it happens, some people push away from themselves, it is unpleasant to be around them, while others cause sympathy, it is interesting, pleasant, fun, good with them. It is to such people that love arises. This is the first impression effect.

Just remember that first impressions of a person may be wrong. First, you can never judge a person by his incomplete image, when you know him only from one side, for example, from the good side. Without knowing about the shortcomings and weaknesses of a person, it is impossible to properly evaluate him. And secondly, you need to understand that at the first meeting and in public, people always try to show their best side in order to please, they hide their flaws, stick out and imitate their advantages, that is, they put on the mask they need, throw dust in their eyes. Therefore, it is so easy to make a mistake in a person until you completely recognize him, and even more so, until you go with them through various tests that allow you to recognize a person from all sides. After all, it is in difficult situations that people get to know especially well, because everything that that in ordinary calm situations they can skillfully hide, in difficult moments it climbs out on its own. And many who at first glance and at the first communication seemed to be a good, intelligent, kind, strong person, later they may disappoint you with their weaknesses and shortcomings. Therefore, falling in love does not always develop into full-fledged love.

This is my understanding of love now. And I share this understanding with you. Perhaps I am missing something, because I feel that there are still some thoughts in me on this score that would need to be identified and described for a deeper understanding of this great feeling. But until I can bring them to a conscious level, they are too complex and deeply buried in my subconscious. It means that it is not time to realize them yet. In the future, when I understand love even better, I will definitely write about it so that you know more about it. While it is safe to say that to love and be loved is a great joy, but also a great responsibility. We need to live in love for complete happiness, and for this we need to understand it correctly. And we will strive for this understanding.

Article author: Maxim Vlasov